Welcome to the Vulnerability Movement.

Here it is.  The Vulnerability Movement.  A spark that came to me four weeks ago, when the pull of my heart towards sharing and connecting became greater than the pull towards safety and security.  When I declared myself worthy of an opportunity to live my truth, test my courage, and to go all in.

​I was clear in my mission, having experienced first hand the power of vulnerability, of writing and releasing and allowing myself to be seen as I struggled with the loss of my husband and the challenges of parenthood and the negative patterns that had haunted me for years.  The power of vulnerability is in its ability to connect us to ourselves and to each other, and in its ability to heal the wounds that keep us from living and loving wholeheartedly.  I wanted to share this with the world.  My heart was alive with excitement.

But just as I began, the excitement quickly turned to fear.

I soon discovered that it already was being shared with the world.  Anyone heard of Brene Brown?  I had too, though I had never read any of her books and didn’t know much about her work, just that she’d done a great TED talk on vulnerability some years back that I’d seen and appreciated.  I quickly learned that she was a PhD professor and an MFSW who’d been researching vulnerability for the past 15 years, that she’d written several New York Times Bestseller books on the topic, that she had a professional certification program to train practitioners on her research and its applications, that she had a slew of online courses for organizations and individuals to spread the message about vulnerability and its importance for our survival as connected and wholly formed humans -- that she had, already, started the vulnerability movement.  

Shit.  I’m too late to the game.  It’s already being done.  I feel like an idiot.  What’s my Plan B?  

I wanted to run and hide.  First off, the name of my project was intended to be “The Vulnerability Project.”  I became quite attached to that name.  But as luck would have it, that too was already being done!  Another fan of vulnerability had already created that site and that Facebook page, and although I considered contacting her to say, “Hey, you know, this is kinda my project, you know?” -- instead I landed on “The Vulnerability Movement.”  A much scarier name when you’re the one who has to own it.  

I really just wanted to start a Project, and now I have to start a Movement?  I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.  Who am I to start a movement?  Maybe I should bail.  What’s Plan B again?

The fears and the insecurities began piling up.  I had originally targeted these first few weeks to launch my site and release my first book chapter, but I soon realized that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.  The vulnerability that I want people to embrace is eating me alive.

I am suspended in fear.  I want to inspire people to embrace vulnerability but I don’t know how, and there are other people out there who think they do know how, and they are doing it, and I feel totally lost and incompetent.  It’s amazing how quickly your confidence can be shaken, how insecurity can strip you of all your gifts and leave you in a heap on the floor, defeated.  

Sometimes, you are too close to the ground to be able to see it clearly.  

My mind is filled with fear and uncertainty:  You have a lot to figure out before launching this project, so take a step back and get a framework together and make sure you know what you’re doing before announcing it to the world.  You don’t want to look stupid.  

But then the heart chimes in:  Ahem, excuse me -- don’t you see?  You are the movement.  This place of discomfort, of vulnerability, is EXACTLY where you need to start.

The mind:  Whoa.  That is really bold of you, heart.  You really want to do this vulnerability thing?  Ok, then.  Be prepared to get your ass kicked.

The heart:  There really is no other choice.  We are never going to figure this out by thinking and reading.  Vulnerability must be experienced.

The mind:  <Silence>

So here I begin -- by following my heart.  And although I am overwhelmed by unknowns and uncertainties, I believe that a collective move towards vulnerability and authentic connection can change the world, and I believe I can help.  Yes, I will fumble.  Yes, I will cringe.  But nothing meaningful in life comes easy, and I have a lifetime of meaningful work to do.  This conviction trumps my fear.  It has to.

Welcome to The Vulnerability Movement.