We are all going to be dead someday.

I wrote this in my journal on October 29, 2015.  Today, reading this while compiling the narrative for my memoir (which is getting there guys, I'm really close!), I want to share it.  Because we, as a society, are so afraid to look at, think about, acknowledge, and come to terms with death.  Yet there is nothing more certain than the inescapable truth that everything that lives, will die.  And often we have little say in how or when this happens.  ​

But death is nothing to walk around fearing or denying while we are still alive.  I, for better or worse, have experienced the loss of a loved one that is unimaginable for many.  And I must tell you that through this experience, I have found peace in my heart.  A peace that did not exist before, not even when George was alive.  I am no longer afraid of death or pain.  I am free now.

And I do not wish for you to have to lose something you love in order to find this peace in your heart.  And I do not know how to guide you there, yet.  But I will.  Someday I will.

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October 29, 2015

We are all going to be dead someday.  Our bodies will all be empty vessels, then burned to ash, back to the earth.

This is the natural order of things.  George died earlier than any of us expected him to, but it was going to happen sooner or later.  We are all making our way to the same place.  He just got to go first.

But he missed out on his daughter!  How do I make that feel ok?  But maybe Nova would not be Nova if George had not died.  We don’t know.  His death may have changed her spirit, may have had an impact on her at a deep soul level.  And she may not have been the same.  I, certainly, would not have been the same.  None of us, really, would be.

Let’s not make death such a bad thing.  Let’s make death a kind of evolution.  For the dead, for the living.  It is part of the natural order.  George was here, he lived a wonderful life.  Then he died, as all humans do, as all of us someday will.  Even Nova will die someday.  Even the baby in Senay’s belly will die someday.  It is not something to fear, it is simply the way of the universe.  Birth, life, death.  And then it repeats.  Again, again, again.
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We do not want to think about death.  But it is so critical to our experience.  It is so necessary for birth to be possible.