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I wrote this in my journal on October 29, 2015. Today, reading this while compiling the narrative for my memoir (which is getting there guys, I'm really close!), I want to share it. Because we, as a society, are so afraid to look at, think about, acknowledge, and come to terms with death. Yet there is nothing more certain than the inescapable truth that everything that lives, will die. And often we have little say in how or when this happens.
 Last week I posted about the moment I realized my life is perfect, and since then I’ve begun to experience such a profound shift that I would be remiss not to share the insights which got me here. What if we could all realize that life, in this moment, is exactly as it should be?
I was watching Nova play with a balloon this morning, throwing and batting and catching it while she laughed with delight, that pure expression of joy that children give out so effortlessly. And in that moment, I saw my premonition come to life.
Wow. This is it. My premonition was the moment I decided I wanted to have a child with George, in early 2012. We were sleeping in one morning, and I awoke first. I watched him sleep. He was so beautiful, so peaceful, and my heart was struck by how much I loved him. If anything ever happened to him, I would want his child, a piece of him, to be left with me. Since day one of being a mom, I have coveted my moments alone. It's not that I don't love my child and it's not that I don't enjoy spending time with her, but as a single parent (who wasn't planning to be one) and an introvert who needs quiet time to recharge, I have never shied away from taking time apart.
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